zIkky™ 's Confessions

2006-03-19T17:18:00.000+08:00

Dah lama tak berjumpa
Rindu rasa hati
Inginku bertemu denganmu
Biarpun hati ini
Menyatakan benci
Namun hakikat
Kau masihku sayang

Mengapa kita berjumpa
Dan mengapa kita bercinta
Niat hatiku nak kekal lama
Hidup denganmu wahai kasih
Niat hatiku tak nak berpisah
Apakan daya jodoh tiada

Kenangan demi kenangan
Menjelma diingatan
Sukarnya melupakan dirimu
Rintihan demi rintihan
Menyeksakan hidupku
Aku derita... keranamu
Oh kekasih

Sungguh tidakku sangka
Akhirnya begini
Sebuah ikatan asmara
Engkau yang aku sayang
Yang aku kasihi
Mungkinkah bersatu kembali

arrow-niat di hati tak nak berpisah

2006-01-01T16:44:00.000+08:00

2006

My New Year Resolutions:

-To be a good and filial son-
-To complete Sispec's training in one piece-
-To get Yamaha TZM by end of October-
-To meet more friends-
-To bring that jackass down-
-To smoke less-
-To go to Thailand and KL with friends-

*A Happy 2006 to all,have a good year and live life to the fullest*

2006-01-01T16:35:00.000+08:00

You

To You:

10.05.2005 is a date that I will never forget.All those happy moments,heartbreaks and cries while we were together wont slip out of my mind.Indeed,it was great to be with you.I never expected us to turn out this way in the end due to the unnecessary problems.However,things happen for a reason and it is destined.I maybe unreasonable at times like not allowing you to club but i know i do that for the good of you.Yesterday was already an example of what could happen in the club and you saw it with your own eyes.True,you're not like that but shit happens at times.Nevertheless,i know you had your deal of fun last night with your friends.

And to this new 2006, I just wanna apologise for the wrongs i did to you.It may never be easy to be with someone like me,but I hope it wasnt a waste of time.Thanks for everything,thanks for the love and care.Fate will determine if we're meant together and if we can work it out.Happy 2006 Tatia.

"..if you were mine,i'll be your eveything.."

Peace.

2005-12-25T12:07:00.001+08:00

and to whatever u say,

I'm a guy,and i understand these species better than you do.I know how a guy operates.I have always proven you wrong on your so called "he-doesnt-like-me-la" comments.

Don't you learn your lesson?

I never did control you,only on the issue that you wanna club.Have I ever told you not to do this or that?Have I ever said NO to what you want to do?Did I say NO when you told me he wanted to send you there?You call this control?

Smart girl,think.Think hard.Think again.

2005-12-25T12:07:00.000+08:00

Woohoo..

2005-12-25T12:03:00.000+08:00

I dont get you sometimes.

What you say and what you do dont telly.

Saying you have faith and want us to work back together.

Guys have emotions and feelings too.

You think its nice to hear that you're out there with some geek and i'm here stuck back in camp for guard duty?

Furthermore,making it worse, you didnt even tell me at all till I ask and by that time you had already gone out with him after a few hours.

Learn your lesson.

Which dude wont be disappointed or even hurt?

Ask yourself what you want.

Peace.

2005-12-16T13:22:00.000+08:00

Goodbye Tekong,Hello Sispec!

Next Stop-

Pasir Laba,School Of Infantry Specialists

Oh boy.

My driver's dreams got crushed.

hehs.

Higher income soon.

Yeay!

Peace.

2005-11-28T00:31:00.000+08:00

it's not the end yet

What's written in bold has clearly stated my point.I know in our hearts,we're still strong.I know for sure,my love for you is not dead.

I believe.

2005-10-02T15:22:00.000+08:00

To whoever it may concern

Dont act.its no use.talkin without actions is useless.its basically nothin.if u have the courage,i challenge u to come and bite me.yes,u have more power then me,but why tell pple bout it when u eventually have the power to put me down.chicken.i'm not scared of pple who have the upperhand.come on.BITE ME.

on the other hand,dont force pple.its fucking selfish to do tt.so what if tts a special occasion,fuck it.i guess u have no morales to think of the consequences tt the other party mite face if u force.comin from someone who have the brains.gosh.its a pity.

2005-10-02T15:15:00.000+08:00

NS AFTERMATH

hello.i'm back.

ns's not bad.just have to endure the physical pain and noise comin from the sergeants and so.

i miss singapore.a place where u can see traffic lights,cars,motors,skyscrapers and women.hehs.trust me,in tekong u can only see sticks.bluek.

time flies fast.its been 3 weeks i'm servin the nation.looking back, ns eventually moulded me to someone who's more discipline.back then, i doubt i cud wake up at 5 in the wee hours.but now,its a way of life there.

i miss my boo.i'm thankful to her to for being there for me.

bye.i'm gone.

to tekong,where i have to be.

2005-09-10T00:40:00.000+08:00

Bye Singapore, Hello Tekong!

Haiz.The day itself.I'm left with 6 hours before leaving mainland.I cant sleep.
hehs.

First of all,I wanna wish happy 4th month-nniversary to my barbie doll,tatia.

To the one i adore,i love and i care.

Baby,
Being with you for this 4 months was a real bliss for me.Your existence in my life brought spices to my tasteless life.I know it was tough during our first months,especially about issues on trust and priority.hehs.I learn alot from this relationship.We did it the other way.We learn it the hard way.From there we learn the meaning of pure and true love.My heart's clinged to yours.With my departure to NS,i'm still keeping the faith,i hope you will.It's going to be different,but i'm sure we'll make do wit it.I love you and only you.
"you're my princess from wonderland"

-dont talk abt clingy if you dont know what's clingy-

To my dear friends out there,take care,so long and goodnight.
I'l be back, b a l d...

Beat this.
-Imagine me bald-

hehs.

2005-09-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

Announcement

I'm booking-in on the tenth of September 2005.It falls on this Saturday.Should anyone be interested to send me,please be noted that we'll be meeting at Pasir Ris MRT control station at 7 sharp.I'll be leaving Pasir Ris at 745am.We'll be going for my last breakfast at Macs.Any queries,do contact me at my hp.

Thanks.

2005-08-31T11:47:00.000+08:00

.Fishtank.

I stank of fish once i step home.It was a day of marketing wit mom at geylang market.Ahakz.What a day.See my mom bargainin for prices.So bimbotic.But it was fun steppin into the market after 4 yrs?

"Kate anak mak" =P

On another note,it'll be a sad day on September 10th.Not only i'll parture with my family,gf and friends, it'll be the very first time i won't be celebrating my anniversary on the exact day.And worse enough it's on the tenth of September, on the very 4th month of us being together. *sobs*

.My pillar of strength. <3

"Ku dikejar bayang-bayang resah
Bila hatimu masih tak berubah
Enggan dipunya dan dipenjara
Belaian cintaku ini

Aku bukan lelaki yang tewas
Bisa mengambang walau ku ditolak
Biar diuji kanan dan kiri
Kau kan tetap ku miliki

Tiada lafaz yang lebih agung
Kalimah cintamu
Yang ku tunggu-tunggu

Biar jasadku yang menanggung
Permainan darimu
Relaku pujuk

Janganlah kau salahkan aku
Terus memburu menawan cintamu
Daku percaya sedikit masa
Kau kecundang akhirnya

Usahlah kau bersedih
Di hadapanmu aku hadir
memadam resah dan curiga
Dari hatimu

Apakah kali ini
Bisa kau tolak dan berlari
Setelah aku menanamkan
Azimatku

Biar jasadku yang menanggung
Permainan darimu
Relaku pujuk"

Relaku Pujuk-Spider

2005-08-30T22:50:00.000+08:00

10th September 2005

The date jus keeps drawing nearer and nearer.I'm not scared of NS.Really I am not.I'm not scared of losing my hair either.But what makes me kinda hard-hearted is the parture from my family and loved one.Its hard to live without them by my side.Pardon me for being emotional,but its really taking a toll on me.Right now, i'm trying my veriest best to spend quality and good times with my parents,my sister,ahmad shafiq and also tatia.Not forgettin my khakies like nazri,buk,wan,adi,amir,ria,aini,norman and more.I mean who knows what might happen while i'm in camp.Oh well.

"Dear Allah,please bless my family,my baby and my friends with good health and comfort and away from harm.
Amin."

I don't understan people at times.I'm not being serious but why are they so excited to see me when i book out?Hmmm.Besides the fact that i'm goin bald and grow darker and slimmer \m/, its not a big deal right?hehehe.Don't make me buy my dream curly wig.
hehs.

I hope the people who colours my life would be present on the 10th to see me off.It would make me feel good if there's a bunch of crowd saying goodbye to me.haha.
Dream on sham.

When i'm off to tekong,it'll be goodbye home,welcome boot camp.May the force be with me.

It feels awkward to go NS at this age.Really it is.But what to do.When you got to go,you got to go.

Oh ya.Not forgettin,i would like to dedicate my gatsby hair wax to my bestfriend nazri and lend my sweater to my buddy,buk.
hehs.

To my parents,you guys know I love the both of you.Tho' i mite be an assholic son at times,I still have you in my heart,till the day i die.

To my sister,you know we're cool.haha.Send me to tekong you crazy bitch. =)

To my brother,I'm going to miss having fun with you.All the wrestling and dissing you off,see-ing u cry.Haha.But i still love u bro.

To my gf,I'm so goin to miss u like nobody's business.You've became a great part of me that no earthquake is goin to separate us.I love you. <3

To my friends,I know you guys are just waiting to see my botak hairstyle.Botak just like you jubos.haha.Just keep waiting aite.

The emo-side of me.

.She's my angel.

2005-08-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

Tick-tock,Tick-tock

NS is just a round the corner.The timer is ticking.Two weeks.Exactly 14 days.Oh well, there goes my hair i've kept for 5 months.I'm going to miss my family,my girlfriend and my close friends.

"Dear Allah,please protect my family and people whom i care and love from harm.Keep my faith strong and protect me while i'm out there.Amin"

Oh boy.I just love this pic.
hehs.

.The ones in my life I need and trust.

.The girlfriend.

.The sister.

.The bestfriend.

.The buddy.

.The godbrother.

.The clan.

.The adeq.

.The neighbour.

.The troop.

blearghh.

tired.

toodles~

2005-08-29T23:35:00.000+08:00

Simple Plan-Untitled

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

2005-08-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

Bimbotic moments today.

.Being caught tripping at Far East Plaza,despite e sign "MIND YOUR STEP,UNEVEN FLOORING".

.Being caught tripping at Bugis in an angry mode,which cause tears to roll down the cheeks of laughter.

hehs.

baby, you just make me fall for you deeper.

No doubt.

*bites*

2005-08-17T23:29:00.000+08:00

.Beat This.

I just love this pic.

hehs.

Without her, it would be life without gatsby wax

2005-08-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

Without her, it would be life without gatsby wax

By now,she plays a key role in my life after my family.

I saw her existance as a blessing into my life.

Despite our silly arguments and endless quarrells, one thing that comes to my mind; love her.

An irony it seems.

Crazy to be told.

But it's true.

I maybe egoistic and insensitive at times,my bad points.

I'm not all about it fo' sure.

Come on.

You know it best.

Despite whatever that had happened, my trust,care and love for you has NEVER dampened.

Instead, it had blossomed.

And boy i aint kiddin.

Much love by your bf,
.sham.

yawns

2005-08-12T03:20:00.000+08:00

Everything i want to say is written on my beloved's testimonial(S).

Hehs.

It took me 3 hours.

Goodness gracious me.

I'm tired.

I'm shagged.

I'm sleepy.

Goodnight.

I love you.

2005-08-10T23:11:00.000+08:00

As the days pass, my love for you grows more and more everyday. When you're telling me that you love me, I feel better for who I am because I got you everyday. All my life was a disaster, but when you appeared in my life, my disaster turn into happiness because you appear. I believe in you, you're the light in my deepest, darkest hour, you're the key to my very soul, you are my savior when I fall. In your arms I found my paradise. As 1000 years would past, I would fall in love with you again. You are my only chance for happiness, if I lose you now I know I would die. If I can't have you, I don't want nobody else baby girl, your more than a woman, more than a woman to me,

I love you...
=Tatia Nurfarina=

Much love, hugs and kisses,
. Sham .

Happy 3rd Month!

2005-08-10T02:29:00.000+08:00

Its been 3 months.

Its been good.

I love her loads.

I'm at home dear.

Like seriously.

Much love,
sham

:I Love Her:

2005-08-06T22:15:00.000+08:00

You're the sweetest thang that has ever happened to me.

In 4 days my love.

Yours truly,

zikky

2005-07-22T17:26:00.000+08:00

"Helena"

Long ago
Just like the hearse you die to get in again
We are so far from you

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate
The lives of everyone you know
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Came a time
When every star fall brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend to leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide?

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

2005-07-22T04:09:00.000+08:00

To love is to trust.

Trust is definitely a big word.

I do trust u dear.

Do u trust yourself?

Hehs.

I know u still have in mind bout the convenience thingy.

Trust me.

You are nowhere near that.

Keep that chin up hunnz.

I <3 tya, loads and loads

Much love with hugs & kisses,
sham zikky

2005-07-22T00:36:00.000+08:00

Why would somebody off the phone?

1)The classic low batt

2)Ignoring the people ard

3)Do not want to be disturb

4)Hiding somthing from someone

5)No reception

*Sighs*

2005-07-22T00:31:00.000+08:00

As i'm here hopeless in knowin what is going on,the feelin of sadness,anger,curiosity engulfes me.

Here i am tryin my best to think of positive thoughts instead of vice-versa.

Just give me the whole story.

Waiting.

2005-07-19T12:46:00.000+08:00

Sometimes u just have to wonder in life.

What am I actually looking for.

What do I want to achieve in life.

Who do I want to share my love with.

What does my future lies for me.

Sighs.

She's been missed dearly.

2005-07-13T16:21:00.000+08:00

Oh ya..

And u said u are a convenience to me?

It's a big fat NO alright.

Like seriously.

Why would I treat u that way?

Gee.

Come on darl.

2005-07-13T15:59:00.000+08:00

Its has not been good these few days.

I'm just waitin till Friday.

It's unbearable not having any contact from you.

Please dear.

Be positive.

I love you.

2005-07-09T03:21:00.000+08:00

I know it had been hard for us this few days.

But, i'm not giving up.

I have the faith in us baby.

One more day.

And many more days to come too.

Hehs.

I love u darling.

2005-06-26T15:54:00.000+08:00

I love her.

Tatia Nurfarina.

Her existance in my life was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Whoa.

This entry is dedicated to her.

Hehs.

"Other men have seen angels, But I have seen thee, And thou art enough"

With misses & love,

sHam zIkky

2005-06-19T18:15:00.000+08:00

I wan to dedicate this entry to my lovely cupcake who's out there at her family chalet now.

It has been a month and 9 days and still counting.

Honestly, it had been an exciting yet challenging cum fun being with you.

If u had noticed,it wasnt easy for us to stick together earlier,being happy and enjoying our moments.When we dated,my past was brought up as an issue.When we were together,priority and insecurity became a touchy issue which nearly brought "us" to an end.

But we overcame what people might say the impossible.

It was trust,care and love that made everythin possible.

I'm really,sincerely and truly happy and touched when you said the three key words to me.

I want to apologise if i was mean or even being evil to you.Please forgive me dear.

I'm happy with what we have and what we are now.

I wouldnt let anythin or anyone hinder our way and cause emotion build-ups in our relationship.

"never had i seen the sun shine brighter, so many days seem so precious,my life so complete and the feeling of my dreams into the palms of my hands.never had i, until the day you touched my soul with your love"

I love you,Tatia Nurfarina

<3

2005-06-19T17:37:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile,awhile since i last blog.Thanks to my spoilt computer at home,i've been checking- out of my lil' motel almost everyday.There's basically nothin at home,cant do much also.So why not chill out?

To the readers out there readin' my humble blog here,f.y.i,I'll be heading to NS late december,i guess.To those people who got me wrong,its not tat i didnt wan to study.Basically there was no space in Temasek Poly and other polytechnics that catered to my initial interest.The reason why i withdrew from biotech was because i didnt have interest.I chose biotech, thanks to my parents who forced me too.I tried other means,like NAFA,but it was full house too.Taking a private diploma is one soln,but i guess i do not wan to burden my parents,the school fee's a big issue.I guess my parents did thought of the future.Since i can only enrol into school earliest by next yr,might as well i complete my NS,get it all over and done and determine my future after that.I so wan to study.Having an O'Level cert is useless basically.My mother says i'm smart,only tat i'm lazy,which is very true. =)

On another note,life now is pretty alright.I have an interesting family, a wonderful girlfriend who i can count on and be there for me and my close friends.My family's pretty united now,having "romantic" moments together.Hehs.Weird.

Till NS calls for me, I shall cherish,enjoy and spent quality times wit my family,gf and my close friends.

2005-06-12T18:24:00.000+08:00

I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
Well as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love is suicide
You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore
I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance girl

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
Well I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday
And baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your Valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

I wasn't there when you were happy
And I wasn't there when you were down
Didn't mean to miss your birthday baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for ...

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you ...

2005-06-12T14:31:00.000+08:00

Its been a month.

We first dated on 1st April and got attached on the 10th of May,
The spark was from the trust you instill in me ,
I began to love you more day by day,
You are a sure pure blessing to me.

The one month was really a thrill,
We fought,quarell,argued till a point of wanting being single,
There were many issues that were meant to kill,
There were shedding of tears that made hearts tingle.

But we saw it in a positive light,
It actually brought us closer than what we use to be,
We are stronger and will continue to fight,
We love each other deeply,cant you see?

I want you to know,
My last three words will always remain true,
Regardless of what I may say or do,
You'll always know that,
I love you.

Happy 1st Month Anniversary!

::From sHam zIkky to tYa::

2005-06-06T02:41:00.000+08:00

-4 days-

-96 hours-

The clock is tickin'.

Time flies.

"You give me strength,you give me hope,you give me someone 2 love,someone 2 hold.now im in your arms,i need you to know, i have never been this close. <3"
22:54:21/21-05-2005

2005-06-06T02:37:00.000+08:00

A victory today over SR's team.It was a good game.Had good players on the pitch.

I found hope.A hope to get back to school. N.A.F.A

2005-06-04T03:15:00.000+08:00

Could u people jus buzz off from my happy life?

Don't u guys get it?

For goodness sakes, what's done now or in the past can't be undone?

Respect my status ya ill-mannered assholes.

Or maybe you guys have no moral values, what more respect?

Oh well.

I'm not schooling. So what?Does tat mean you are more smarter than me?So what if you are smarter?If you can't respect someone, you are just a moron with a puiny brain.

Compliments from me.Congrats.

I think you guys should ask ya parents to teach some level of respect or maybe you are raised in such?

Aww.Too bad then.

"Siapa makan cili dia rasa pedas"

2005-05-29T18:30:00.000+08:00

after a looong time, i am back.
with a new template.
hmm... and with a lot of thanks to tya.

2005-05-21T11:45:00.000+08:00

"Until The Day I Die"

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die to
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Made the same mistakes

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!

2005-05-13T02:30:00.000+08:00

You just make me smile.

Take care lolita.

Miss u boo.

2005-04-30T14:00:00.000+08:00

Been busy this past few days.

Had rehearsals for Pentas.

It was a good show.

Proud of everyone involved.

Tired and muscles aching.

To her,

Thanks.

2005-04-24T22:00:00.000+08:00

.To you.

Thanks for the sms.It was super sweet.

It touched my heart.

Now everything's goin to be fine hopefully.

Terima kasih.

2005-04-24T20:35:00.000+08:00

This is a continuation of my previous entry.

After sending her back,went to meet Syafiq and off on a vespa we headed to Changi Beach.

A couple of disappointments as some planned plans didnt work out on Saturday night.
-Didnt go club at Hard Rock due to a sick cousin. =(
-Didnt chill at Joo Chiat with Ash & Co.Planned cancelled. =(
-Didnt get to go to Night Safari with birthday girl. =(
-Didnt get to sheesha. =(

Oh well.

But its alright.

You wanna know why?

You sure you wanna know why?

Changi itself wasnt a disappointment.

+=NEWS HEADLINES=+

.Zikky & Nazty got disturbed by a bapok.

.Zikky & Nazty washed their eyes on this kind of weird species.

.Zikky caught a fish.

.Zikky acted gay and waved at two cars,wanting to get hooked up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.Zikky & Nazty got disturbed by a bapok.

Break it down like this..Naz and I were walking back to our location at Changi Beach after buying some food at the interchange.As we were walking,we saw this lady-like character wearing a black dress and a black hat heading towards us from the trees.Naz wanted to change direction.But being me,I told him to walk to the direction and be cool.He thought it was a ghost.Gee.Nowhere near ghost.It was a bapok.Yes.BAPOK.He asked what time it was.I told him the time and we walked off.It wasnt a pretty one.Still had the guy face and deep voice.Imagine him moaning.EEeWw.Ahakz.It hasnt end.He asked again."You are malay boys izzit?".I was stunned.I said "Yaahhh".Then he added on this freakay statement"You guys wanna have some quick fun?"In my heart i wanted to laugh.I expected that coming actually.I kept declining saying i wanted to eat and stuff.But he came nearer to me.Naz was already off alone,leaving me alone with him.He offered to massage and do this unhygienic and dirty acts behind the trees.Haha.It was the joke of the day sia.Oh well.Said sorry to the bapok and cheekily told him this.

"NEXT TIME"

I didnt mean it.I'm no gay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.Zikky & Nazty washed their eyes on this kind of weird species.

Here it goes.We were walking around at Changi,passed Cheers and head to the carpark.Oh my god.Bapoks nowadays really know how to dress sexily.I swear from the back , a he look like a she.And his scent is really "mengancam".Haha.It was a pure cheap thrill.What a bump.We saw 2 hot bapoks.Seriously hot.They were "fuyoo",with the face and features, not forgetting their dressing.Haha.Naz commented this."Eh dorang gitu2 pantat kecik."Then i replied, "Mestilah,dorang pon asalnye jantan.Mane jantan pantat baik."I mean its true.Hee.Yupz.
There was this particular bapok.She was muscular.Her face is like Tom elling with make-up,lipstick and super long hair.Furthermore she was wearing a bare back.I thought she was half naked.Ahakz.Seriously.
~Lalalala~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.Zikky caught a fish.

Yup.I did.This fish called bellybutton.Really.But its poisonous.No point keeping.But yeah.I caught a fish!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.Zikky acted gay and waved at two cars,wanting to get hooked up.

It was a practical joke.To insult those bapoks standing by the kerb giving flying kisses and waving at ongoing cars.I did the exact same thing.Acted soft with the ladylike hand movement and the way u shake ya booty while walking.Peewit!Seaxay!Ahakz.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fun day eh?

I guess so.

But i really miss her.

Called her while disturbin bapoks but she was asleep den.

And I didnt get that turn on by bapoks, hunnz.

Oh well.

Missing you.

2005-04-24T16:38:00.000+08:00

Phew.

What a day it was yesterday.

Once again I would like to wish a Happy 19th Birthday to Miss Tatia Nurfarina.Hehs.

The day started off with a game of pool at Pavillion.It was like a reunion there.Ahakz.There was Shaz,Aisha,Buk,Lela and Ideso.

Went to fetch Tatia down Pavillion as she was free to meet me up.She was from Tamp Mall with my new friend made,Muntaz.
*Note=Heys,nice knowing you Muntaz!

Intro-ed Tatia to the gang.

Took neoprints,a request by the birthday girl.Princess of the day.Oh well.Ahakz.

Went Sunplaza to swing around.However it was occupied by kids-who-dont-want-to-go-home.Sat down and talked while waitin for her friend,Sufian,to pass her prezzie.

Met him at Coffeebeans with Tatia at about 2230.Awkwardness was there but i'm alright bout that.

Left central in a cab with her at 2345.It was a sweet ride home.Hehs.

Happy Birthday Tatia!
*p.s= I realise i havent got her bday prezzie!

Peace.

2005-04-23T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy 19th Birthday Tatia Nurfarina!

Heys.Hope your 19th birthday would be a blast to you.May God bless you and your family.Take care cutie!

2005-04-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if I stirred things up.

I'm sorry if i I complicate matters.

I'm sorry if I had messed up your friendship life.

I never ever mean it.

I never expected this to happen.

I thought what was spoken there ended there.

I was proved wrong.

I truly am sorry.

Please forgive me.

2005-04-22T12:01:00.000+08:00

My assumptions are right.

Dont worry i'm cool about it.

Bingo.

Thanks.

Mine's a Daikin.

2005-04-21T23:41:00.000+08:00

+High notes of the day+

-Went Dk.
-Met Shazana in TP.
-Chill with the Dk guys.
-Dk made my day.
-Slept for a long time.

=Low notes of the day=

-Miss her.
-Didnt get to meet her.
-Woke up early to send my appeal.
-Didnt go to work.

Thank you.

Missing you.

2005-04-21T03:07:00.000+08:00

To the person reading it..

I'll Never Break Your Heart-Backstreet Boys

[Spoken:]
Baby, I know you're hurting
Right now you feel like you could never
Love again
Now all I ask is for a chance
To prove that I love you

From the first day
That I saw your smiling face
Honey, I knew that we would
Be together forever
Ooh when I asked you out
You said no but I found out
Darling that you'd been hurt
You felt like you'd never love again
I deserve a try honey just once
Give me a chance and I'll prove this all wrong
You walked in, you were so quick to judge
But honey he' s nothing like me

[Chorus:]
I'll never break your heart
I'll never make you cry
I'd rather die than live without you
I'll give you all of me
Honey, that's no lie

As time goes by
You will get to know me
A little more better
Girl that's the way love goes baby, baby
And I (I) know you're afraid (know you're afraid)
To let your feelings show (feelings show)
And I understand
Girl, it's time to let go (girl, it's time to let go because)
I deserve a try (try) honey
Just once (once)
Give me a chance (chance) and I'll prove this all wrong (wrong you walked)
You walked in, you were so quick to judge (quick to judge)
But honey he's nothing like me
Darling why can't you see

[Bridge:]
No way, no how (I'll never break your heart girl, I'll never make you cry)
I swear (Oh I, oh I, I swear)
No way, no how (I'll never break your heart girl, I'll never make you cry)

2005-04-21T03:00:00.000+08:00

I just dont get it.

Why?

Why is it happening to me?

I'm not playing on you.

I'm not pretending.

Why should I?

Cant you feel the chemistry?

You have not given me a chance to prove my sincerity.

2005-04-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

Couldnt blog yesterday.Was extremely tired.Work under the blazing sun.

Yesterday...

Was initially to meet her at her place at 7am and then off to pasir ris.Took a cab down to her place cuz I thought i was late.But eventually she overslept.I had to take the bus and thus i couldnt wait for her.Not that i didnt want to but i was late myself.Reported at Pasir ris at 7.45.

Work was pretty slack in the morning.Sit here,sit there,sing here,sing there.Hehs.About 0930, the Daikin peepz headed off to Bukit Timah to fix the air con.I thought it was a well developed and occupied,but i was proved wrong.

2005-04-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

Work at the site again.

As usual.

Banglas are a bunch of dirty unhygienic s.o.b.
*s.o.b=son of a bitch

Banglas pee everywhere.

Makes life miserable smelling the urine while fixing the aircon.

Assholes.

Maha konek.

Banglas stank of shit.

No kidding.

Have not got the chance to meet her.

Miss her.

2005-04-20T21:47:00.000+08:00

Couldnt blog yesterday.Tired.Sleepy.

Work was tiring.

Made friends with banglas.

Dusty.Dirty.Lethargic.

Almost drop out of a 5 storey building.

Phew.

Mine's a Daikin.

2005-04-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

This song is dedicated to the person reading it.

As Long As You Love Me-Backstreet Boys

Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine
I’m leaving my life in your hands
People say I’m crazy and that I am blind
Risking it all in a glance
How you got me blind is still a mystery
I can’t get you out of my head
Don’t care what is written in your history
As long as you’re here with me

(Chorus)
I don’t care who you are
Where you’re from
What you did
As long as you love me
Who you are
Where you’re from
Don’t care what you did
As long as you love me

Every little thing that you have said and done
Feels like it’s deep within me
Doesn’t really matter if you’re on the run
It seems like we’re meant to be

(Chorus)
I don’t care who you are
Where you’re from
What you did
As long as you love me
Who you are
Where you’re from
Don’t care what you did
As long as you love me

(Bridge)
I’ve tried to hide it so that no one knows
But I guess it shows
When you look into my eyes
What you did and where you’re coming from
I don’t care, as long as you love me, baby.

2005-04-18T23:55:00.000+08:00

Happy.

A five letter word yet meaning a thousand thingz.

Went to meet her at ubi.Well as usual,the gals' come late.Hehs.But its okay.Man,i miss her alot.

She accompanied me to St Pats' to collect my O Level certificate.Its being kept there like for a year?Ahakz.Saw a couple of familiar faces.The school has definitely change.I missed St Pats too.A true Patrician at heart!
Hehs.

We headed to town then.Took pictures with the digicam.Cool.

Ate at..Hmm, was it puncak or cahaya eh?Its the one furthest to e escalator.The one which has Nasi Katil and the ever friendly chinese aunty.Yeapz.Then took neoprints with her twice.I prefer the second shot to the first one.Uh-huh.

Then we parted.Off she went to the gym while i head my way to TP.Had dk.Slept inside 65.I was tired actually coz' i woke up early.Thanks to my dad who asked me to collect the certificate.

Dk was as usual fun.Ended kinda early.Yeapz.Slack with the peepz before heading home.

Working tomoro.Mine's a Daikin.Hope i can wake up.Ahakz.Meetin her in the morning.Yayness!Then off both of us to Pasir Ris.

I still miss her.

=)

2005-04-17T17:55:00.000+08:00

I accomplished a stunt today despite being sick.Yayness!Leapin off a one and a half storey structure.All thanks to save a ball which was stuck up there.Going up a small vent wasnt a fear factor.Leapin off was another thing tho.I guess courage is my strength.To go over the limit.Nevertheless,it was really a thrill.A pure cheap thrill i should say.Now my shirts all black cuz of the dirt.Received a few red marks on my body and wrist.Gee.It looks as though i tried to commit suicide slitting my wrist.

I'm now off to bedok corner.

First thing in mind now,

I wanna meet her.Missing her.

Ponders if she misses me.Oh well.

2005-04-17T15:22:00.000+08:00

I'm not feeling well.I'm not okay.I'm down with a fever.Feel so weak.Lonely.Fruck.

I miss her.

2005-04-17T03:49:00.000+08:00

Today just aint my day.I couldnt sleep,thinking bout a lot of things runnin thru my stupid head.This past few days just haven been on my side.

I'm lost.Troubled.Depressed.Disappointed.Scared.Angry.A mixture of feelings brewing in this heart of mine.

Sometimes i just dont get it.People just have to talk.

What have i done wrong?

What have i done to deserve this?

What can i do?

I know i cant do anythin,its human nature that people will judge u on first impression or maybe they haven got to know you well enough.

I'm sad.Frustrated.

Why do ex-boyfriends go back to their ex after learnin that another guy is actually dating her?

Fruck.

Maybe its jus their emotions,scared to lose their love ones but what's history is history.

I wont hesitate in saying this but i'm in love with her.I cant hide it anymore.But things just have to crop up when this happens.It aint the first time it happened to me.But.What more can i do?

Down.Helpless.Just like a blind man getting robbed.

I'm not a player.I'm not a sweet talker.A player is someone who goes around,having flings with other girls and in the end switching girls like changing boxers.A sweet talker is someone who talks as sweet as honey but never meant what they say.

I'm none of the above.People often misjudge me.How could a person say that i am a sweet talker and a possible player just by lookin at my friendster's profile and testimonials?That's being really unfair to me.

I'm not a guy with looks but i know i have the personality.I'm a man of my words and i have pride.But looking at the situation,people tend to shoot and criticise me,I feel helpless.I cant do anythin to change that.Even a friend of mine backstab me.Well i know who my true friends are. But.What have i done to deserve this?

Sometimes i feel like dying.

I encountered such problems before and i confide to my family and close friends.I guess they are the ones who really know the true side of me.Advices i get is to ignore those critics and go on with life.But how can i now when i'm in love with this girl and these muthafuckin assholes are happily distributing fuckin lies like flyers to the public.

I'm torn.Confused.Dying.Powerless.

I'm scared of losing her.I guess knowing her was the spark to my love life again.I never felt being cared by someone till i met her.I'm sad that she's hearing all these stories from her friends.Tho they do not know me.I do not know if she trust me or her friends.I cant bear to end up walking the lonely road but if i have to then i have to.I'm sad that she put down the phone on me.But i'm okay bout it.Nevertheless i feel scared as things are gettin worse,not between us but the uncleared airs of rumours.I'm worried that she'll start to believe these stories as they are gettin hotter.I really care about her alot and these jus have to happen.

Imagine if u are in these situation..

U begin to love this person.The person is beginning to fall for you.And the person doesnt fall for people easily but u managed to unlock her up.Suddenly people start to talk.Say bad stuffs about you which is not true and telling her that.She's left in a confused state of what to believe.What would u feel?

AND

U love this person.Same thing as the above but instead of people criticising you,the person's ex-stead goes in the way.Wanting her back.Sms-ing her.Trying to patch up things slowly without her knowing.But she says things are over between them.Nevertheless,what would you feel?

Sadly i'm in both situation now.I dont know if she still is falling for me or it is slowly fading away in the darkness.

Anger.Paranoid.Sad.

I just want you to know.I have never stopped falling for you and i'm true to my words.I'll wait.Now its all up to you.Please do tell me if i'm leading myself on.

These drips rolling down my cheeks are my soul company through this cold, lonely night.

2005-04-17T00:14:00.000+08:00

My Chemical Romance ~Im Not Okay~

~Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say I never want to let you down or have you go It's better off this way For all the dirty looks For photographs your boyfriend took Remember when you broke your foot From jumping out the second floor

I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems (I'm not okay) I told you time and time again You sing the words but still don't know what they mean To be a joke and look Another line without a hook I held you close as we both shook for the last time Take a good hard look

I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks The photographs your boyfriend took You said you read me like a book But the pages are all torn and frayed

I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay, now (I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me Because I'm telling you the truth I mean this, I'm okay (Trust me)

I'm not okay I'm not okay Well, I'm not okay I'm not o-fucking-kay I'm not okay I'm not okay (Okay)

2005-04-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

paranoid.jealous.insecure.scared.always still falling for her.

I need a solution.

2005-04-16T12:06:00.000+08:00

=Tatia=

~Rindu, rindu hatiku rindu...
Kepadamu, oh juwitaku..
Bilakah lagi sayang,kita bertemu...
Gelora hati kian,menghiris kalbu~

2005-04-16T00:13:00.000+08:00

I guess u'll be the first person to read this pathetique blog.
Welcome..

---YOU---

Yes, you miss Tatia Nurfarina.Thanks fer makin my day.Thanks for adding the spice to my tasteless briyani. Ah can also ah.Hee.Seriously, you cheered me up.

Today was such a disaster before meeting my high note at Wisma.To start it off,a nag by mama in the early morning.She was practically nagging non stop.I felt bad cuz' i yelled at her back.I had a bad day the night before and i didnt had enough sleep. I guess that had pilled my emotions and i just had to let it off to my dear mum.I'm sorry mum.If u were to read this,that's if,i'm really sorry for yelling at you.You had to nag at me at the wrong time.I love you mum but i guess being a human,we make mistakes.I truly am really sorry.

To add on to the nag,my contact lens tore into half.It was really a major turn off for me sehh.My specs already broke into two and now i have nothin to wear.I wanted to ask dear mum for money to buy contacts but i guess it wasnt the right time to ask cuz' she's merajokin on me.I had to leave house being blind.Basically going to town being rabon.
*rabon=partially blind/blurred vision

I had a bad hair day today.Cant do anythin about it. I practically cant see my hair from the distant mirror.Oh well. :(

I used a very unique perfume today.Only those who smelled me will know. *blushes*

BUT,

HOWEVER,

DESPITE THAT,

WALAUBAGAIMANAPUN,

As mentioned earlier, I had this wonderful girl that i adore that made my day.Went to Wisma.I thought i was late, but NoO.Hehs.But its okay.I'm late sometimes while meetin her.We headed off to Famous amoz and we saw this bapok lookin plum guy.Trust me,he smiled at me with that can-i-get-to-know-you kind of expression.Yucks.Hehe.But what to do.

Headed off to pizza hut to eat. I didnt wan to but she so called "made" me eat. I wan to diet ah.Hehe.Thanks for the treat!I wan to share but she didnt want.We went to paragon to water the plants.It was heaven inside there.If u get wat i mean.Went to crumpler to buy her bag which is like mine but of different colour. :P.We then got approach by this unpleasantly smell promoter(according to her).
Hehs.

She then send me to school where i had dk.So nice of her.I never regret knowing her.She'll make a good girlfriend, in my eyes.I'm falling for her.No doubt bout' that.Despite us having silly arguments,I realise it actually made us closer.Imagine arguing on who to decide where to go.Hmmm..
(p.s- Happy birthday to her dad!)

Went dk after sending her off in the bus.Saw my friends a few minutes after that.We went smoking together.Dk was fun as usual.Ahakz.But we ended late,thus i couldnt pick her up from tuition.
Fruck.

I miss her.

zIkky™ 's Confessions

Without her, it would be life without gatsby wax

*yawns*

Happy 3rd Month!

:I Love Her:

yawns